Family Leadersip: Interpretation of Surah an-Nisa Verse 34 Part 3

In the context of leadership in the family, the reasons for both seem quite logical. Isn’t every obligation there is a right? Women are psychologically reluctant to be known to caress their husbands, even their lovers. On the other hand, men are embarrassed when someone finds out that their wives are responsible for their needs. Therefore the Islamic religion, whose guidance is in accordance with human nature, obliges the husband to bear the living expenses of his wife and children. As explained by Imam Ghozali, what is meant by good treatment of a wife, is not not not bearing it, but being patient in troubles/mistakes and treating her with gentleness and forgiveness, and not spilling out anger and emotions.

The word wahjuruuhunna which is translated as “leave them” is a husband’s order to leave his wife driven by displeasure at her behavior. This is understood from the word hajar, which means leaving a place or condition that is not good, or being disliked to go to a place or condition that is better. If so, through this order the husband is required to do two things, first to show displeasure over all that is bad or disliked, and secondly the husband must try to get behind the implementation of the order, something good or better than the original situation.

The word madhoji means a place to lie down. This sentence, apart from showing that a husband does not need to leave his wife at home, does not even need to leave his wife in the room, but simply leaves his wife in bed (alone).

So, when the wife disobeys the husband, he should not leave the house, he does not even need to leave the room where the husband and wife sleep. Being apart from your partner, especially when you are being hit by misunderstandings and disputes, can widen the gap in disagreement. Disputes should not be known by other people, even children and family members at home. Because the more people know, the more difficult it is to fix, if then there is a desire to straighten out the tangled threads, perhaps self-esteem in front of those who know it will become a hindrance.

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