In line with the hadith before in the first part, “Hide the process of preaching (proposing), and enliven your marriage”. If you are still in the process of asking, applying for a prospective wife (khitbah) then hide it. If you are successful and ready to get married, make it big. Why is that? Here are some goals and wisdom:
First, if your future wife is beautiful and many people know, then it is likely that other people will try to get her. So that our mission is not successful, or difficult to achieve success.
Second, from the family of the future wife, of course, they must maintain the good name of the family. If you already apply in a crowd, many people know and don’t get married, then this will be a shame for the prospective wife’s family. And to guard against this, the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said, “Hide the preaching process and make the wedding process lively”.
Why are some people envious of pleasure? That’s what the world is. Don’t expect the world to run smoothly and successfully without any obstacles. As long as people are still in the world, the best of people must have badness, and the worst people must have good. Of the many people who support us, of course there are some who do not support us.
Third, Wisdom from the side of fiqh. Allah SWT does not intentionally make perfect. Because if Allah SWT makes perfect, for example all Muslims agree (ijma’) to say A, then later what is not A is the same as opposing ijma’ (agreement) and that is called apostasy. So that at any time because of a benefit, if the difference does not fall away, then Allah SWT deliberately does not make it perfect.
In the past, when NU (Nahdlatul Ulama, one of islamic party) returned to khittah (neutral/no politics) and this was not perfect, there were several NU figures who supported certain parties. And this aims to accommodate perhaps there are people who do not agree with NU which is neutral. Maybe there are NU cadres who from the start were active in certain parties. If only at the NU Congress in Situbondo it was completely (perfect) that NU figures were absolutely not political, then later if there were NU cadres who had interests in certain parties, it was as if he had left the consensus of the ulama. So this is where we need to be different. Whenever there is benefit, there is still a way to take this benefit, although it must be different.
Fourth, so that our reward increases. And it’s too good if we are going to get married there will be no difficulties, if we preach there are no obstacles and so on. And from there it will produce a mental that is less tough and tenacious. So we need someone who is jealous of us. However, if you are jealous, don’t cross the line. Because if we are not mentally tough while the envy of others is too much, then we ourselves will fall.